Well, it happened. Today, as I was minutes away from my live radio show, Mastering the Shift Living Your Noetic Reality, my engineer asked as he was checking in with me, “Rebecca, your guest is not on the line. Do you have a back up phone number so I can call? “No”, I sheepishly replied…at which time we decided to play an archived show.
At that moment I was a mixture of alot of different feelings. What could have happened to my guest? Were they OK? Did I mess up in some way? should definitely have gotten a back up number! Disappointed, yes. Fear that I caused the mistake, absolutely. and Confusion – lots of confusion.
Mistakes happen, people don’t show up, promises are broken, things get lost, misplaced and plans change. There was a time when life spinning ‘out of my control’ would have freaked me out. My day would be ruined and I would lose sleep over the impending judgment and grief I imagined I would face when ‘people found out’ that I wasn’t perfect. Or I would run the scenario over and over in my head trying to figure out WHAT WENT WRONG! Yes, finding the ’cause’ of the problem and then ‘fixing it’ as quickly as possible was my mission.
But life, sometimes, is a mess…and it doesn’t need to be fixed or cleaned up. It’s perfect in it’s messiness and I am perfect in my imperfection – just like my guest was perfect today when they called, apologizing again and again – “I don’t know what happened” and for those of us who always need to know that is the scariest thing of all, I think.
Well, what if mistakes are not fatal? What if these times are calling us into more presence with our humanity in a loving way so we can ‘let go’, drop the past, and move into this moment of new possibilities?
What did my guest and I do? We rescheduled. What do I do now when I make a mistake? Well, if I can, I first apologize. Second, I forgive myself for any judgments I have about making mistakes, not being perfect, needing to stay in contol….and I take in a nice deep breath, let go and allow myself a moment of human compassionate loving for ALL of me…and then I have a great day.